Dipping The Pen In The Company Ink

by gooseandsoda

Don’t deny it.  Everyone has at least thought about it at some point.  Everyone has work crushes.  One of my exes actually left me for a work crush-turned-real-deal.  They’re married now.

When you’re a female who works in finance, you’re a rare commodity.  Occasionally, one or two of your 99% male colleagues are also physically attractive.  Naturally, you get tempted.  And then you remember a million reasons that would be a really REALLY terrible idea and you let it go.

….Except once or twice or three times, I kindasorta forgot.  I forgot all of the rules and the very sound reasoning against it, and I just went for it.  In my defense, I….no, never mind, there really isn’t any defense.

#1 He’s in “Things Left Behind.”

#2 (Same Company as #1….. just….outrageous).  He lived in London and had broken up with his high school sweetheart, who happened to share the same name as me (I later found this out, and it was really fucking creepy). He sent me Christmas gifts.  We shared favorite songs and read each other’s books.  I flew to London to see him.  He told me not to leave the apartment in case another colleague were to see me.  It went south really fast from there.  Shockingly, I was not invited to his wedding (to my namesake), a few years later.

#3 You’d think I learned some valuable lessons after #1 and #2 and wouldn’t make dumb, risky mistakes like that anymore. Buuuuuuuut you would be wrong. I was pursued hard by a flashy, younger, Eager Beaver.  I was flattered, but resisted completely because I am not an idiot.  Oh wait!  Yes, yes I am actually a huge fucking moron!  One fine weeknight I found myself drunk in his condo, making out with him.  Next thing I knew, EB was stopping by my office every day “just to chat,” then texting me all day, then dropping passive-aggressive fishing comments like, “I had a great time last night…..” And 5 minutes later, when I wouldn’t respond, “Did you have a good time?”  WTF. No.

#0 (it doesn’t count) – I had a ridiculously hot colleague that I befriended, but avoided doing anything stupid with, as long as we worked together.  Then we didn’t work together anymore, and you’re damn fucking right I went there.