If there’s one thing I am determined to cross off my bucket list before I leave this earth, it’s this:
Have you ever looked up casually at someone you were dating while they were distracted by the TV? Yeah? And then have you seen them hold up their hands in a mock-strangling gesture – you know, like with their hands curled around your invisible neck and their thumbs pressing on your invisible throat – and they look you in the eye, and then they are immediately distracted by the TV again? And then when you say, “Hey, uh – what the fuck was that about?” they say, “What was what about?” and you describe how they just held out their hands like they wanted to strangle you, and they say, “What?? No I didn’t! That’s weird!” And then you drop it and never speak of it again? No? That hasn’t happened to you before? Huh.