Paradigm Shift

by gooseandsoda

According to the internet bastion of truth and/or lies known as, “Wikipedia,” the term paradigm shift was defined by noted philosophic scientist Thomas Kuhn as, “a change in the basic assumptions, or paradigms, within the ruling theory in science.” Or, to put this phenomenon in layman’s terms, and quote the noted Scientologist Will Smith, “Now this is a story all about how my life got flipped turned upside-down.”

One of the 3-4 people who reads this blog once asked me if the nature of it would have to change given that there seemed to be one particular dude clinging on to my shinkansen. “PREPOSTEROUS!” I thought. “This guy won’t be around for that long. And even if he were to be, I’ve got several years of single life ridiculosity to expound upon and allow everyone to laugh at.”

That was some months ago, and the same particular dude has not only hung around, but also proven himself a true Jedi Master ever since the night I got drunk and told him I didn’t want to see other people (clearly I was drugged). Now we’re waking up on Saturday mornings and he’s saying, “Hey you know what sounds really good right now? Banana chocolate chip pancakes!” and next thing I know I’m making this asshole banana chocolate chip pancakes from scratch in my underwear with a smile on my face, only coming to just long enough to think, “Hey, what the FUCK? I don’t even LIKE pancakes!” and then I’m instantly back out in Lala Land, wondering if I should really have just gotten oranges to make fresh-squeezed orange juice, rather than buying it?

No seriously, who the fuck is that girl?!?!

Everyone is in shock (and some possibly also mourning) over the change. Where is the person they knew they could call when they wanted to pound sugar-free RBVs and hit da club on any given night of the week? Oh right, she’s brushed her teeth and washed her face and is laughing hysterically at something she saw on “Modern Family” before shutting off the TV and turning in at 930P. On a Saturday. Where is the maneating she-beast who lived for nothing better than to take home a random guy from a bar, relishing the look on his face when kicking him out of her place immediately after hooking up? Curled up fast asleep on her man’s chest, snug as a bug.

So yes, I am violating well-established principles of how I am known to act. I am changing my own assumptions about what I need to be happy. And the really weird thing, the thing that proves to me that my worldview has shifted, is that I don’t WANT to write or dwell on all the idiots that I’ve dated/slept with/abused. I am so much enjoying this moment in time with this one man that I would rather crowd my head with thoughts of him, than drudge up silly old memories of guys who can’t hold a candle to him.

And now I come to and see what I just wrote there.

Jedi. Fucking. Master.

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