Employees Only

Early one Sunday morning on what was technically Father’s Day, I let a random guy with really great hair take me into the staff bathroom at an upscale watering hole on Wells. It had a big “EMPLOYEES ONLY” sign on the door, which we both totally ignored, because all we saw was a private space with a door that we could lock. After we’d been in there for 30 minutes or so with the poor staff members banging on the door for at least half of that, we emerged to see a circle of about five employees giving us the dirtiest/most shocked looks. None of them said a word, and I just tossed my hair and walked off like, “I don’t give a fuck,” and it was probably the closest I’ve ever been to being a legit bad ass in my life. I went back to the same place with some friends the next day and was surprised to not see my photo up anywhere with the word “NO!!!” written on it, so I guess I dodged a bullet there.