Goose And Soda

I recognize that being a heterosexual female is generally a bad life decision.

Month: May, 2013

If You Hang Out In The Zoo, You Should Expect To Meet Only Monkeys

And by Zoo I mean “Pretentious Bar” and by Monkey I mean “Douchebag”

I have been told by friends that I need to be more open, and less jaded and cynical when it comes to men. I would like to think I’m just “picky,” but if I’m being honest with myself, it really just boils down to my giant ego forcing me to turn down any man who isn’t a Nobel Prize winning billionaire supermodel. Idiotic trolls need not apply.

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My Karma Bank Account

I went to that wedding with The Bedroom Cryer (TBC). I believe I have now reaped enough good karma suffering through this monstrous affair to last me for at least my next 10-15 asshole moves.

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The Stranger

One of my best friends came to visit me for a weekend in NY.  He flew in on a Friday night, and of course we immediately hit the bars to start drinking.  We met up with some other friends of mine, as well as his, and long and obvious story short I got hammered and blacked out.

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